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First things first: Respect

1/19/2012

2 Comments

 
    I have a simple philosophy on what makes a good martial artist or martial arts school. It all comes down to one word, Respect.
    What exactly is respect? Looking it up in the dictionary you will find there are many uses and definitions of respect. It's a sophisticated word that can be used as both a noun and a verb. The simplified definition that I use is; To treat people, animals and yourself with kindness.
    When I teach karate, the most important lesson that I hope for all my students to learn is how to be a good person. Secondly, is how to be good at karate. Being a "good" person to me means being a person full of kindness who others admire. I call that being respectful. 
    Building respect starts in the dojo. Here are just some of the ways a student in karate can be respectful.
Ways to show respect in Karate:
  • Saying Osu! (yes, I understand and I’ll do the best of my ability) or Yes, Sir/Ma'am!
  • Lining up shoes neatly at the door (according to rank)
  • Bowing politely (hands on hips, eyes cast down, bend at waist, done slowly)
  • Not being disruptive in class (listening and only speaking when asked)
  • Meditating silently before class
  • Quietly getting changed in changing rooms  (also keeping clothing neat & organized)
  • Caring for your uniform (folding it nicely, making sure it is clean for each class)
  • Saying Arigato! (thank you) or Arigato Gozaimasu! (thank you very much) to your teacher
  • Calling your teacher(s) by the proper title (Sensei in most cases)
  • Being kind to other students (being a good Uke and Tori) Not deliberately hurting them
  • Offering a polite greeting (to other students, your Sensei)
  • Bringing your success notebook to class
Respect doesn't stop at the dojo. It is something that should become a part of who you are in life. Here are some ways to be successful outside of class.
Ways to show respect outside of Karate:
  • Saying Yes/No, Sir or Yes/No, Ma’me (when an someone calls you or asks you a question)
  • Holding a door open (especially for parents, elders, women)
  • When a senior enters a room, give up your seat to honor them
  • When someone is talking (especially an adult, elder or instructor) stop talking, stop moving and listen. Wait for breaks in the conversation to ask a question or say what you have to say. Do not interrupt.
  • When you meet someone new, look them in the eye, smile and give them a firm handshake. (A firm handshake is a nice squeeze, not finger crushing!)
  • Use polite manners (look people in the eye when they are speaking, say please if you want something, say thank you if you are given something)
  • Look for ways to help and serve others (help carry something, help pick up if they dropped something, hold the door if someone’s hands are full, help clean up if something is disorderly, make it your mission to find at least one way to help someone each day)
Note: This list doesn’t cover ALL ways to be respectful, but it should give you a good start. Feel free to add other ways to be respectful. Most importantly, try to practice respect every day. Before long, it becomes who you are.
2 Comments
(Mr.) Tracy J. Carlin
10/16/2012 06:34:04 pm

I'm an American currently living in the Netherlands Holland is the most densely populated country in Western Europe (roughly the size of South Carolina with 16 million inhabitants). I'm originally from OK and for the first time I realize what a sad state our world is in. I think it's because there is no room here to escape it. The lack of respect for the sake of "Rights" is so highly concentrated one could almost choke on it. I'm curretnly writing an opinion paper entitled "When Did Right Replace Respect". I am also developin a survey which will be totally anonymous but will contain demographic information to determine how different age groups, nationalities, beliefs/religions, etc. view the subjects of respect and rights. I would appreciate your help in distributing the survey to those in your community or, if that's too much to ask, simply filling it in yourself.

I truly enjoyed this post. Thank you.

Kind Regards,
Mr. Tracy J. Carlin MS RT(R)

Reply
Vashon Borich, Sensei
10/17/2012 02:45:54 am

Hello Mr. Carlin,

Thank you for your comment on my blog post. Respect is such an important aspect of society as a whole. It is one of the primary tenets of the Budo Code (Samurai Warrior Code of Honor). There are two common debates on respect: How does one earn it and how does one show it? Some believe that respect is fear-based. You respect someone who you believe is stronger, more powerful or has more influence than you. However, I am of the camp that one is respected by showing and treating others with respect. To demonstrate respect means that you treat yourself, others and animals with kindness. Contrary to some viewpoints, being kind to others doesn't mean you are a push-over or a weak person. A respectful individual sets boundaries and is assertive in their expectations (this is the "being kind to yourself" part of my definition of respect). However, there is an underlying courtesy, appreciation and kindness that is expressed through all actions. Yes, Human Rights are part of it, but when common courtesy, compassion and kindness for others takes a back seat then those "rights" need to be re-examined. I believe the amount of respect demonstrated is proportionate to the amount of happiness one feels.

I would be honored to participate in your survey and share it with others in the martial arts community.

Sincere wishes on the composition of your opinion paper. I would enjoy reading your completed writing if you feel inclined to share it.

Respectfully,

Vashon Borich, Sensei

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    Vashon Borich, Sensei teaches traditional karate & kobudo in Branson, Missouri. She considers herself a life-time student of the arts. Her blog is an open journal of lessons learned in the martial arts. If you are a martial artist and would like to contribute to her blog please contact her.
    All blog entries are authored by Vashon Borich unless noted in the first line.

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