Kids are not naturally self-motivated. When your child’s mindset is not in the right place, even the most fun activities can be a struggle to get to. With that said, here are some strategies to help you work around lack of motivation when trying to get your kid to class.

1. Be attentive to what your child is doing at the moment he/she is supposed to get ready for class. If he/ she is playing or having fun with a friend, then be ready for a battle. With that said, have your child participate in a chore or task that’s not as much fun around 10 to 15-minutes prior to getting ready for class.

2. Be attentive to your own projection of emotions as you get your child ready for class. If you are stressed, rushed, or aggravated in any way, this will project the same emotions on your child. With that said, be sure to project positive and upbeat energy as you are getting your child ready for class.

3. Be attentive to how you respond to your child’s overall performance after class. If you are expressing too much emphasis on what he/ she did wrong versus right, then those negative feelings will carry over. With that said, be sure to limit criticism and focus more on productive conversations after class.

4. Be intentional with your goals by communicating with your child’s instructors. The goal is to foster motivation. Let the instructors know about your struggles so that they can be mindful to motivate your child before, during, and after class. It takes a village, so don’t be afraid to ask for support!

5. Prompt motivation by rewarding your child. Remember that children’s brains are still growing, and most of their development comes from positive stimulation and experiences. With that said, pre-frame the proper behavior that you would like to see when going to class, and then set an attainable number of classes he/ she must attend with this behavior, along with a reward for doing so. For example: attend the next 3 classes with the proper behavior and we will grab ice cream on the way home.

These tips are not rocket science but are often overlooked. As parents, we get caught up in the daily grind, so we sometimes forget that situations like this require attentive and intentional parenting. I hope this article sheds some positive light on how to help your child get ready for class.

Good luck!

Click here for a downloadable and printable document of this article.

A lot of myths surround the martial art of traditional Okinawan karate. Here are eight that you may have heard and the real truth.

1. Once you achieve black belt you must register with the local police station as a dangerous weapon. 
   False. A black belt at the first degree level is someone who has just mastered the basics. Plus, a true black belt would have the scruples to never use their art in harm. Their art is a defensive art only. A gun is far more dangerous than a person holding a black belt rank. Furthermore, no state has any law that explicitly indicates a martial artist must be register themselves as a potential danger.
   
   
2. Once you reach black belt you are done with karate, unless you teach.
   False. In traditional karate there are 10 ranks below black belt and 10 ranks of black belt. A first Dan, Shodan (1st Degree Black Belt) has just mastered the basics. Now they are in the "club" to really learn the advanced techniques!
    
   
3. A martial artist can do amazing feats like climb up walls, levitate, use energy fields to injure an opponent and break through boards or bricks.
   Partially False, Partially True. Some highly trained martial artists can in fact run up a wall perhaps 3, maybe 4 steps. But, martial artists are human. Gravity affects them just the same as the rest of us. What goes up, must come down. Usually, a run up a wall is a way to back flip over an opponent and, honestly, not a very practical way to do so. In a battle, fancy tricks will get you killed. It's the simple techniques that are most effective. Levitation is a parlor trick and not really possible. Energy fields or Chi/ki is partially true, in that a martial artist can focus their inner strength with power. However, actually generating fire or an energy ball to injure an opponent is movie magic, not realistic. Sorry kids. As for breaking boards and bricks, yes, this is possible. It just takes practice, proper technique, speed and power. It's physics, not magic.
   
   
4. A martial artist can take a full kick to the groin without injury.
   True. This is true only for some very highly trained practioners of what has been called "combat ki." It's really not magic, but a technique in which a male martial artist learns to pull his groin up with muscle practice. Prior the kick, the martial artist also positions his hips in a way that the skeleton protects the groin further. It makes you wence to watch, but it is possible!
   
   
5. There is a martial artist who used to chop the horns off a charging bull and then punch the bull in the face until he died.
   True. His name is Mas Oyama, the founder of kyokushinkai karate. He used to do karate demonstrations in the 1950s using a live bull. The part of the story you didn't hear is when he got older, he had so much pain in his hands due to arthritis that he could barely use them. 
   
   
6. A martial arts master has mystical powers and can perform the "death touch"
   False. Most of these discussions come from China. In the old days, if anyone died during a fight, outside of the normal physical injuries, it probably happened in two very distinct ways. One, The person could have been predisposed to a certain injury, that is, he had a weak heart, an aneurysm or something similar, or Two, poison was used. In China, weapons as well as finger picks were used to transmit various poisons. A slight touch and the victim would die within a few days and the mysterious "death touch" would be credited. 
   
   
7. You can kill a man by striking him in the nose and pushing the bone into his brain.
   False. If you know anatomy and physiology you would understand that the nose is made up of soft tissue known as cartilage; and what’s behind the nose inside the skull is the sinus cavity. The brain is not even close, and the nose doesn't have any bones per say. Needless to say this is not the deadly strike that many believe it is. In fact there have been cases where sharp objects have penetrated the nose and sinus cavity and never caused mortal damage. There are even many cases where the brain that is slightly above the sinus cavity has been punctured and the victims survived without long lasting side effects.
   
   
8. There are unbeatable fighting techniques.
   False. Regardless of what anyone tells you, there is no such thing as an unbeatable technique. There is always a technique that will counter their "unbeatable" technique. There are also counters to every counter, meaning that every skilled fight is also a battle of wits. Whoever can think of counters faster will be the winner, and the one who doesn't think of the counters quickly enough will lose. Simple as that.
   

Recently, a gift of a tiny Geisha doll reminded me of something. She reminded me that when you fall down (or get knocked down) you get back up. And, you keep getting back up every time. It doesn't matter what challenges are thrown your way or what situation is occurring in your life at the time.

You get back up.

It doesn't matter if you are flat on your back at a low point in your life.

You get back up.

It doesn't matter if you are sick.

You get back up.

It doesn't matter if you weren't successful before or how many times you've tried and failed in the past.

You get back up.

It doesn't matter if you don't have anyone to lean on, pick you up, carry you or encourage you.

You get back up.

It doesn't matter if you've had your bell rung or your heart broken or your pride shattered.

You get back up.

You see, the world loves an underdog. The world wants to see you succeed. The world wants to see you get back up.

Because it's the glorious grit of never quitting that emotionally charges the masses and inspires them. Then, when they fall down, and everyone does eventually...

THEY GET BACK UP.

~ Vashon Borich, Sensei
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    In the martial arts world, I have noticed a trend with different practitioners and karate instructors. There appear to be two types of people, type A and B. 
    Type A, are the people who have a big mouth, who regularly talk about the things they have accomplished, they exaggerate their success and point out their trophies and belt ranks. Type A demands attention from those around them. They often dole out their sage wisdom to anyone and everyone who will listen.
     Then there is Type B, who downplay their successes or doesn't even mention them. Type B often admits when they don't know an answer, they aren't afraid to say when they make a mistake. They ask questions and learn from those in ranks below them and ahead of them. They regularly examine their own weaknesses and strive for constant improvement. They say very little, but demonstrate much through their actions. Although they may hold a very high rank in their primary martial art, they could be seen strapping on a white belt to learn a second, third or fourth martial art.
    The trend appears to be that the Type A's are only moderately successful in their martial arts. They may have had some accomplishments, but they had never achieved true master status or respect within the martial arts community. Where the Type B's are usually found to be legitimate masters in their art often with very high ranks. Not only were Type B's successful in their primary martial art, but in other arts as well. The Type B's had climbed to very peak of the martial arts community and achieved great respect from those around them. 
    Taking on a type B attitude, pun intended as reference to the Beatitudes, is necessary for true success. This humility separates the wheat from the chaff. 
    If you look through history and even the present, the greatest martial artists all have a humble spirit. Although many may not be widely known, they are at the top of their craft. They are male and female martial artists that have great knowledge, amazing levels of skill, true passion for their art and an ability to share their wisdom with others in ways that make their students passionate about the martial arts.
    Perhaps you don't have a deep desire to be a life-time martial artist. You can take these "Type B" traits and be a leader in any field, trade or industry. In summary, those traits are:

• Learn from others, no matter their status in life
• Don't be afraid to make a mistake, admit your wrongs
• Maintain a humble spirit, even more so in the face of a great accomplishment
• Be passionate about what you do, practice because you enjoy it
• Find ways to help others succeed; In teaching others you learn even more

    Life is not about ranks, awards or accomplishments. It is about inner growth and sharing your God-given talents in ways that help others in some form or another. Be humble in the journey. Osu!

 It's been a while since I last wrote. I've been involved in some introspective work and have been re-reading the Bubishi. If you are not familiar with the Bubishi, it is the classic manual of combat and was once considered a secret document passed down from master to student for centuries. The Bubishi is a classic Chinese work on philosophy, strategy, medicine and technique as they relate to the martial arts. It is sometimes referred to as the "bible of karate." There are several translations, the one I recommend is by Patrick McCarthy.
    One section that especially struck me was on the topic of balance.
It goes on to state that "Perfect balance is a reflection of what is within." Balance can mean your physical capability to stand on one leg, for example. It can also mean the internal balance of your emotions and serene focus. In the Bubishi, physical and internal balance are one and the same.
    Balance is a requirement to be proficient in combat. If you have mastered balance, you are able to easily take advantage of or create a weakness in an opponent's posture. In the dojo we call this Kuzushi. Kuzushi is the Japanese term for unbalancing an opponent. It is the moment of weakness in which you can quickly overtake an opponent. The description that the Bubishi gives for the qualities contained in a balanced individual is poetic and beautiful...

What I found most fascinating is that in order to have physical balance, you must first have internal balance. To cultivate internal balance one must grow in wisdom. The Bubishi lists nineteen laws of Wisdom. Here they are:

1. Let anger be your enemy.
2. Remember, an empty vessel makes the most noise.
3. Patience is the foundation upon which security and long life rest.
4. Know well your station in life.
5. Trustworthy reputations are only gained from virtuous merit.
6. Success is the fruit of the strong and wise.
7. Delay is the best remedy for anger.
8. Those who will be enlightened are the ones who live moderate lives, have simple tastes, consume natural foods, and pursue the wisdom of the sages.
9. Remain honest in your heart, true to your discipline, and refrain from overindulgence, and you will enjoy great rewards in life.
10. Mind your manners and your own business.
11. Discretion is the better part of valor.
12. The barriers of human achievement lie only in the mind.
13. An idle mind is a demon's workshop.
14. Justice exists for those who live according to the Way, as these are one in the same.
15. Be happy without cause and make the best of what you have.
16. True friendship knows no boundaries.
17. It is a humble virtue to be wealthy and not affected by it.
18. Cause and effect are mutually consistent.
19. Despair is the conclusion of fools. Tomorrow's success is built upon yesterday's failures. Live in the here and now. Do not seek more but learn to enjoy less.

    Balance is sought by not being in a hurry. Patience is a virtue. Strive to be honest with yourself and not to deceive others. Live life modestly. This means to live a life free from vanity, ego, boastfulness or pretension and always, use your words for good. It is then that true balance and wisdom will be achieved.